Personal Log
Noemi Laporte
UEFg Indus

Okay. Okay. 

Karen Ng'Mei gave me this, uh, this herbal tea. It's really relaxing. Smoke and Grim told me that the other Yangtze pilots call her 'mom'. 

Karen's been trying to calm me down. Her efforts haven't helped as much as Olefumi's. He let me beat the crap out of him in the gym. I needed it.

They killed an Elder. They shot her ship right out from under her and then pinned the blame on us. And the Vasudans bought it. They fucking BOUGHT IT.

Fuck me. Pause log.

*paused*

*log resumed*

The curse of Ubuntu - obsession with what my father called satya, the truth. At last it's working for me.

Like Kassim, I started this war believing that we had no claim to the moral high ground, that the General Terran Assembly was as genuinely concerned for the fate of mankind as we are, and that this war was a product of human imperfection and miscommunication. I believed in the fundamental humanity of our enemy. I believed I could fight a war without hate.

Their fundamental humanity. What a joke. The Shivans stole it from them. I know this because it would take a monster to order the assassination of Elder Taudigani. What Steele ordered was not satya. It was not the truth. It was an atrocity. Her single life was not worth more than any other, but what she stood for - peace, diplomacy, the rule of law...those were ideals that should have been invincible.

I'm almost ready to hate them. My darkest dreams asked me to burn the Tevs from the face of the cosmos. It would be so easy to give in to that.

But no. Not yet. I won't let myself hate them, no matter how much Simms might want me to.

Somehow we're going to save the Federation. And we're not going to do it by turning into the Tevs. 

Puck, Logos, and Fade are outside. They want to ask me what happened. I'm going to tell them what I saw.
